All Hilarious Funny Quotes

'Now it is your turn to enjoy while reading, watching and sharing these funny hilarious quotes and images because humor is real life. Things never happen itself, so humor! You have to make effort to make people laugh. Amusement, fun and comedy are great tool to win their hearts. You can use them to get success in every affair of your life. You can be more lovable and well-known person. So never hesitate and live life in a wonderful way. Your efforts can make their day so happy and delightful. It costs nothing. Wish you good luck.'

Squeeze lemons them in people's eyes	Apple: I don't like this Game
Withour sense of humor..
Stay up and Fight
Not the time to find your friends	In Response to your request for Bigger cabin
Trying to lose Weight	Best Place for Haircut	Then things get worse
'People ask the secret of our long marriage	Sometimes Your Face	Are you Coming?
Today's Gen	One Friend with Funny Laugh	Never Argue with Fool
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.	I would rather cuddle than to have..	He took me from a bar.
Anger makes your mouth work faster than your mind	No comment is a comment	They know how crazy you are
Karma is when you throw a banana	I am Delicious	Just for moment
I drink to..	My care My bike	Water proof tablet
I am not lazy	Everyday I promise..Lol	Follow each others
Closing eye for a second	When life gives	It's funny how after an argument
Doing nothing	At first if you don't succeed	I go halfway to meet
If mom says 'NO'	We're Teenagers	Wake up now!

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Missing Common-Sense

Sometimes, absence of common sense rally makes the moment so hilarious. Some people make sense without sense. Confusing? Haha, check it out here!

My Parents are so lucky while having a child like me. Can they blame the same?

I am a bad influence but Damn.. I am fun!

Control, it's not friday yet!

Is joining the army. He hears it's a great way to meet people. Then kill them

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Funny Random Quotes, Moments, Jokes

Sometimes in life, we experience some of the best moments while facing some of the worst moments. These random things really plays an important role our growth. Sometimes you have fun and sometimes you get irritation but one thing is for sure that life goes on! So why not to have some more laughs with latest collection of random funny quotes, jokes and more.

You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.

I know I'm talking like an idiot. I have to, other wise you wouldn't understand me.

Men should be like Kleenex...soft, strong, disposable.

The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how respected he is at home.

A guy is a lump, like a doughnut. So first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite...the male ego.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!

Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed.

I wish i was one of those pretty girls who think they're ugly but i am one of those ugly girls who are actually ugly

What do you call a dog without it's hind legs?
Dragon Balls

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Precious, Pleasurable Learning Quotes

It's a pleasure sharing some of the coolest, worth reading, learning wisdom quotes you ever read. After going through them, you will find yourself little better wiser and inspired.

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
- John F. Kennedy

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
- Charles A. Beard

A man who limits his interests limits his life.
- Vincent Price

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms... The strongest reason for people to retain the right to bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson

Distrust all men in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr. Seuss

We have rights, as individuals, to give as much of our own money as we please to charity; but as members of Congress we have no right so to appropriate a dollar of public money.
- David Crockett

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.
- Dr. Benjamin Franklin

John Adams was a farmer. Abraham Lincoln was a small-town lawyer. Plato, Socrates were teachers. Jesus was a carpenter. To equate judgement and wisdom with occupation is at best . . . insulting.
- Benedict Valda

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
- Woody Allen

If you want to achieve things in life, you've just got to do them, and if you're talented and smart, you'll succeed.
- Juliana Hatfield

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
- Oscar Wilde

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
- Thomas Jefferson.

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
- Steve Jobs

God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion... We have had thirteen States independent for eleven years. There has been one rebellion. That comes to one rebellion in a century and a half, for each State. What country before ever existed a century and a half without a rebellion?
- Thomas Jefferson to William S. Smith

I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.
- Thomas Jefferson

Ever notice that 'What the hell' is always the right decision?
- Marilyn Monroe

Freedom of expression is the matrix, the indispensible condition, of nearly every other form of freedom.
- Benjamin Cardozo, Palko v. Connecticut

When the voices of democracy are silenced, freedom becomes a hollow concept. No man or woman should be sentenced to the shadows of silence for something he or she has said or written.
- Allen H. Neuharth

There's no genius free from a tincture of madness.
- Seneca

When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.
- Thomas Jefferson

I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.
- Robert Frost

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
- Joseph Campbell

No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
- Abraham Lincoln

Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too.
- Voltaire

Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
- Lord Acton

New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.
- John Locke

Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.
- Wayne Dyer

We don't get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life. Life is brief, and then you die, you know? So this is what we've chosen to do with our life.
- Steve Jobs

A lot has been said about politics; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate.
- Eric Idle

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself.
- Mark Twain

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen,not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people.
- Hubert H. Humphrey

The minute you read something you can't understand, you can almost be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer.
- Will Rogers

Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth.
- Socrates

Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.
- Escher

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
- Dykstra

Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Once you say you're going to settle for second, that's what happens to you in life.
- John F. Kennedy

A strong body makes the mind strong. As to the species of exercises, I advise the gun. While this gives moderate exercise to the body, it gives boldness, enterprise and independence to the mind. Games played with the ball, and others of that nature, are too violent for the body and stamp no character on the mind. Let your gun therefore be your constant companion of your walks.
- Thomas Jefferson to his nephew Peter Carr

I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy.
- Bern Williams

A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.
Jackie Robinson

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Most Funny Comments Ever Made

You, me or everyone else reacts something when we find something funny or strange. Comments play a very important role in judging people. The majority is always right. So whether you are with friends, family ore with beloved, they all need you feedback. What you thing about them or how they are looking ore how good/bad they are doing. Well we will not touch the serious part of it but here we would like to share some of the most funniest comment ever made by millions of people. You can enjoy them while using them further on social sites, parties or events.

Have a nice day, somewhere else!

Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.

You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are
obnoxious and arrogant.

I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.

I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look!

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

Didn't know you can be in a relationship with thrash.

You started at the bottom - and it's been downhill ever since.

If you can't fix it with duct tape or ibuprofen, you're screwed!

I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.

Did you have to pay her?

It is better to have loved & lost than to live w/ the psycho the rest of your life!"

Nice deodorant. Must you marinate in it?

You fascinate me and remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I have no comical side to me, and I'm a social retard, so I have to steal other people's humor.

I could say nice things about you, but I would rather tell the truth.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.

Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one.

I can't seem to remember you name, and please don't remind me!

Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.

Do you take Karate? I was wondering because you are kicking.

Guys are like public toilet. They are either taken or full of shits...

Is that your head or did your neck vomit?

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

My office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.

And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

If I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards.

People like you don't grow on trees, they swing from them.

You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.

You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.

You're just jealous that the voices talk to me!

Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.

Is this that mail order bride you've been talking about?

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Quotes favoring Women, Making Fun of Men

From the decades, men are ruling the world but now scenario has been changed! Women are now self independent. Girls have proved their intelligence. They are on all the big positions/posts. They are really doing so well in every field. So we at QuoteGanga also support women's worth. Now they can confidently say 'Who needs man'. Here are some quotations about men. These may insult them so use them smartly and enjoy!

Quotes favoring women - Funny

Men should be saying "I want to become a woman." The world would be a far better place if more men wanted to become women, than women wanted to become men.
- Albert Halsey

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
- Will Rogers


Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
- Robin Morgan

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
- Rita Rudner

Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones.
- Katherine Hepburn

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
- Aristotle Onassis

Men aren't the way they are because they want to drive women crazy, they've been trained to be that way for thousands of years. And that training makes it very difficult for men to be intimate.
- Barbara De Angelis

When I think of talking, it is of course with a woman. For talking at its best being an inspiration, it wants a corresponding divine quality of receptiveness, and where will you find this but in a woman?
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

I change my mind so much I need two boyfriends and a girlfriend.
- Pink

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Timothy Leary

I'm a very committed wife. And I should be committed too - for being married so many times.
- Elizabeth Taylor

I wish someone would have told me, that just because I'm a girl, I don't have to get married.
- Marlo Thomas

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend and my best friend is my wife. Who could ask for anything more?
-John Lennon

If love is the answer, can you rephrase the question?
- Lily Tomlin

I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.
- Gwyneth Paltrow

My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.
- Lee Trevino

The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has. It's how good of buddies he is with his children.

Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try and give their best qualities to men - bring them softness and teach them how to cry.
- Joan Baez

I've reached the age where competence is a turn on.
- Billy Joel

I have yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worried about combining marriage, children and a career. I've yet to find one where men were worried about the same thing.
- Gloria Steinem

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
- Helen Rowland

The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It's in the gentle words he whispers.
- Sermon Fodder

I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself.
- Yoko Ono

The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

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Mothers Day Quotes, Quotes for Mothers

Her existence is the reason for your existence. She always gets worry about you. She does every possible/impossible thing for you without any self interest. Yes, Mother! She is the most important person of your life. Shae has gone through extreme pain and risks to give you birth. So here we are sharing some quotes for mothers to explore their motherhood. You can write them on greeting card on Mothers Day.

If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam.
- Lord Langdale

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
- Jewish Proverb

Who fed me from her gentle breast
And hushed me in her arms to rest,
And on my cheek sweet kisses prest?
My Mother.
- Ann Taylor

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
- Elizabeth Stone

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
- Chinese Proverb

Motherhood is priced Of God, at price no man may dare
To lessen or misunderstand.
- Helen Hunt Jackson

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
- Tenneva Jordan

Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been.
- Robert Brault

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.
- Anonymous

Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.
- T. DeWitt Talmage

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

A mother is a mother still, The holiest thing alive.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love.
- Mildred B. Vermont

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.
- Abraham Lincoln

Mother, the ribbons of your love are woven around my heart.

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
- Aristotle

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.

That best academy, a mother's knee.
- James Russell Lowell

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
- Sophia Loren

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.
- Irish Proverb

A mother understands what a child does not say.

Woman in the home has not yet lost her dignity, in spite of Mother's Day, with its offensive implication that our love needs an annual nudging, like our enthusiasm for the battle of Bunker Hill.
- John Erskine

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